In this week’s column, we deal with registration, Passover and brain surgery.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
How do I get my first choice of classes?
Sincerely,
Registration Hesitation
Dear Registration Hesitation,
Ah yes, the semester anxiety of registering for classes, which reminds you of how none of the classes you are required to take will actually help you get a job after you graduate.
My advice is to leave a plate of baked goods right next to every one of your classmates’ bedsides. When they wake up, they will forget about registration, leaving you to register for any class you like.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady.
How do I memorize something quickly?
Sincerely,
I Forgot I Had a Scene
Dear I Forgot I Had a Scene,
How to memorize something quickly:
- Get a surgeon to cut your brain open and have them shove the information in there.
- Get your best friend to read it to you while you’re sleeping.
- Take your script and cook it in some brownies and eat them.
- Strap yourself in a chair (Clockwork Orange Style) and have the words play on your TV.
- Drink cough medicine and cry, IDK?
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
How do I survive not eating bread this week?
Sincerely,
Passing Over
Dear Passing Over,
Cry, until one of your friends who is gluten-free slaps you.
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
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