IT’S THE LAST CRAZY KAZOO LADY OF 2017! In this week’s column, I tackle finals, GPA, and lemons.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,How do I survive finals week?Sincerely,I Just Want it to Be Winter Break
Dear I Just Want it to Be Winter Break,
A list of items to survive finals week:
- A playlist of songs from the emo years.
- A venti cup of 5 hour energy
- The souls of Freshman (they’re full of protein)
- An equity cot.
- The confidence of a straight cisgender white male in power.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,How do I convince my teacher to raise my grade from an F to an A?Sincerely,Need to Raise that GPA
Dear Need to Raise that GPA,
Go into your teacher’s office. Look them directly in the eye. Recite this:
Hey now, you’re an all-star, get your game on, go play
Hey now, you’re a rock star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold.
Hey now, you’re a rock star, get the show on, get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold.
Memes are the only one to get to a teacher’s heart.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,The world was a mess in 2017. Can it even be better in 2018?Sincerely,The Future Looks Bleak
Dear The Future Looks Bleak,
Just remember, when life gives you lemons, you question why the hell would life throw you lemons life is not an actual person or something that is capable of handing you lemons.
Hold your kazoo up high… and keep on playing. I’ll see you next year if they don’t yell at me for forgetting to turn this in on time.
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
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