After the election results were announced, many students expressed concern about the inevitable changes America will experience with the new president. Whether good or bad, change is inevitable, but here are some staples that we can always count on to stay the same.
1. America will start Christmas too early.
My roommates already have decorations up, and I heard someone singing “Winter Wonderland” in 80° weather. It is not even Thanksgiving yet, people. Side note: “Baby It’s Cold Outside” will ALWAYS be a creepy song, no matter what cute rendition you try to create.
2. Snapchat filters on the portraits in the Hall of Queens will always be funny.
Post your favorite in the comments below.
3. Jo Rowan
The woman is a force of nature. I truly think she might be immortal.
4. The extra hallway in the Kirkpatrick basement bathroom will always be pointless.
5. OCU wifi
You knew it was coming.
6. Sarkey’s will always smell like Subway.
Every time I step into that science building, my nostrils are hit with whiffs of a sandwich Scentsy. My roommate disagrees with me, but she already decorated for Christmas, so can she really be trusted?
7. Willie will always favor the ladies.
No political policy will change the fact that Willie Butler is biased against men. If you are a female student worried about upcoming changes, know that you at least have a spot at the front of the brunch line.
8. Beyoncé will still have more respect and power than anyone.
Honestly, who needs a president when we have a queen?
9. Art will still exist.
10. Gross art will still exist.
11. Jeffrey Laughrun will still play Pokémon Go.
12. President Henry will still look like Santa Claus.
I know it’s too early for Christmas, but this man brings the holiday vibes all year round.
13. There still won’t be witches.
14. The practice rooms will smell like individual people.
Maybe my nose is extra sensitive, but the practice rooms carry distinct smells. In multiple instances, I have identified the previous practicer from their scent.
15. Women looking to meet their future husband at OCU will still be screwed.
Yo, White House! Send some of those straight males this way!
Comment below with more things that won’t change!