By Elizabeth Newby, Columnist
It’s no secret that Oklahoma politics are pretty much a janky joke.
I suppose there is some sort of notoriety that comes with a regular mention on every political parody talk show on Comedy Central, but at the end of the day, the joke’s on us when we’re out of the bar by two and drinking 3-point beer that’s basically water.
As if Sen. Jim Inhofe’s global warming hoax wasn’t enough, we’ve got Rep. Sally Kern to make sure we stay in check. Her book is even called The Stoning of Sally Kern.
I don’t think she has any idea what she’s insinuating by using the word “stoning,” but letting loose would solve a lot of her problems.
Recently, Oklahoma has turned its focus to reproductive issues, proposing a bill that bans aborted fetuses in food. Thank God.
I don’t know how many times I’ve poured a bowl of Post Toasties and a dried up fetus is the prize in the bottom of the box.
I guess you could pretend it’s an evil little alien when you’re playing with your Barbies.
The Oklahoma Senate passed a bill last week called the Personhood Act, stating that life begins at conception.
Beyond the ridiculous name (What the hell does “personhood” mean?), the bill proclaims that Oklahoma is “pro life,” a catalyst for potentially restricting the right to abortions, birth control and other preventative measures in the future.
I’m really not sure what to even say about this one. Normally, I would joke about it, or blow it off (I confess, that was an intentional pun), or purposefully misconstrue it, but I think I just give up.
How can a bunch of old white men make decisions about reproductive rights? Why do we intend to consistently infringe upon the rights of others? Have we made any progress in the past 100 years?
Hurry, Oklahoma senators and representatives.
Someone make an absurd claim about gay terrorist climate scientists and distract me before I pull all of my hair out.
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