By Elizabeth Newby, Columnist
Facebook, you’ve changed. You used to be fun and fresh, but now, I don’t know. You just feel like you’re trying to be something you’re not.
This whole “subscription” thing is just a straight up Twitter rip off. And this “lists” addition is trendy and clique-y, and I guess that’s cute, but have you heard of this new thing called Google+? Listen, that live-feed in the top right corner is just down right creepy.
You’re just a little too emotionally involved for me. I don’t know if I can handle it. It’s really not me, though. It’s totally you.
But I could never actually “break up” with Facebook. How else am I supposed to waste hours of my time looking at pictures of people I vaguely know hanging out at places I’ve never been?
It’s a unique, mundane experience, and I’m strangely addicted. Mark Zuckerberg has got me wrapped around his little finger, and as much as I hate myself for it afterward, I just keep coming back for more.
Pure, seething hatred was my initial reaction to all of the recent Facebook changes, though. (Hey, I’m young and angsty. What do you expect?) But now I figure that’s the obvious response, so I should try to be alternative and embrace them.
The other day, I saw an Xzibit meme that read, “Yo Dog, I herd you like Facebook. So we put a Facebook in the upper right of yo Facebook so you can Facebook while U Facebook.”
After I LOLed for a good minute because of the new feature’s sheer uselessness, I thought about it, and Facebook’s kind of gotten a little “meta.” If that’s the case, instead of just being annoyed, I’m kind of impressed.
Facebook is like the Scream of social media. Scream cleverly makes fun of skeezy, teen slasher films while still being a skeezy, teen slasher film. The “Facebook in the upper right of yo Facebook” is a tiny, self-updating reflection of how transparent Facebook has made our lives. We know every dull detail about each other, and it’s actually slightly disturbing. But Facebook doesn’t need self-parody to show us this. It just utilizes bad design. Brilliant!
So don’t get upset and make some pointless group trying to get the old interface back. We’ve got a Facebook in our Facebooks now. Welcome to the future.
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