Dear Ms. Marty Pants
Do we need to shower during quarantine?
Sincerely, stuck at home
Dear stuck at home,
I’ve actually heard from recent studies you can contract coronavirus through water! Since all water is recycled, you could be showering in water someone with coronavirus had used. In order to be safe, you probably shouldn’t shower—or even drink water for that matter. You may stink, but you’re not allowed to see anyone who will notice! Plus, you’ll be helping out the environment by saving water while you’re at it!
Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I hate taking online classes. Any tips since all classes are online and using Zoom for the rest of the semester?
Sincerely, tech dummy
Dear tech dummy,
In another recent study, I read you can contract coronavirus though your webcam! Obviously, everything you read online is true, so I would advise you not to continue any classes online for the sake of your wellbeing.
Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
What do you do if you run out of food during the quarantine and don’t feel safe going to the grocery store?
Sincerely, social distancing student
Dear social distancing student,
Just eat the toilet paper!
Sincerely, Ms. Marty Pants
Ms. Marty Pants is an expert on life and loves to give back to the community with her acclaimed problem-solving skills. Email any questions to Ms. Pants’s secretary at fiacovacci@my.okcu.edu.
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