“Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I’m sleepy all the time and I have no time to sleep. What do you recommend?
Sincerely, a tired, overworked student”
Dear a tired, overworked student,
If you are truly managing your time well and still don’t have time to sleep, I recommend sleeping in class! Studies show it’s possible to retain information presented to you in your sleep. Any teacher that encourages scholarly research should not oppose this academic experiment.
“Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I am having trouble figuring out if this guy and I are just friends or something more than friends. We talk nearly every day and things seem pretty platonic, but he is very flirty over text? Please help!
Sincerely, hopeless romantic”
Dear hopeless romantic,
Maybe he’s just shy! Sometimes people feel more confident to express their feelings behind a screen than in person. Since he seems more interested in you when you two are messaging, I suggest practicing selective hearing. If you want this relationship to develop, you need to completely avoid him in person so your only interactions are of this flirtatious tone.
“Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
It finally feels like Fall! Any autumn-themed activities?
Sincerely, finally needs a jacket”
Dear finally needs a jacket,
There’s plenty of fall-themed festivities to do, even right here on campus! Here are just a few ideas:
- Plan a tailgate to cheer on our imaginary football team!
- Unpack your winter clothing since it will only feel like Fall for a week anyways.
- Create your very own mysterious crop-circle on the quad!
Sincerely, Ms. Marty Pants
Ms. Marty Pants is an expert on life and loves to give back to the community with her acclaimed problem-solving skills. Email any questions to Ms. Pants’s secretary at fiacovacci@my.okcu.edu.
Leave a Reply