This week, we deal with getting focused, getting ready for callbacks, and getting breasts.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
How do I prepare for acting callbacks?
Sincerely,
I ain’t know callaback girl
Dear I ain’t know callaback girl,
This s$@t really is BANANAS (B-A-N-A-N-A-S)
The best way to prepare for a callback is to get a copy of the play, make a bonfire, and burn it, so the smoke rises to the sky and the acting gods grant you a good callback.
Some possible things to do during the actual audition part:
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Twerk while reading your sides.
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Make direct eye contact with the director (forget about your scene partner, they are not important)
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Make bold choices, such as crawling on the floor, or speaking in pig latin.
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Give the stage manager a can of cool whip
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Scream
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
I had a really nice, long summer, but now I can’t seem to get back in the swing of things. How do I get focused?
Sincerely,
Jeb
Dear Jeb,
You did not hide your identity… my secret crew will now find you.
The best way to get back in the swing of things is to find a literal swing set, swing on it till you vomit and get so dizzy, that you find a parallel universe where you have the ability to actually focus on school.
Or you can drink 5-Hour energy.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
How do I get bigger breasts?
Sincerely,
Depressed and Flat-Chested
Dear Depressed and Flat-Chested,
A list of things you can do to get bigger breasts
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Show your boobs to the sun, so the sun Gods will inject you with more boobiness (this is science)’
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Bathe in milk, so your muffins will absorb all the liquid
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Get pregnant (something difficult to do at a school with a high female population)
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
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