In this week’s article, we deal with dating, parties, and the Alaskan Bull Worm.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
Thoughts on what to do for spring break?
Sincerely,
Ready to Party
Dear Ready to Party,
It’s Tuesday. Shut up.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
I just finished a show, and now I literally have no clue what to do with my life. Any ideas?
Sincerely,
I Have So Much Free Time
Dear, I Have So Much Free Time
Ahhhh post show depression. We have all dealt with it in some form or another, whether in the ending of your college play, or your community theatre production of In the Heights (where the whole cast was white).
My advice is to have a new goal: to find the Alaskan Bull Worm.
Just like doing a show, the search for the Alaskan Bull Worm will cause you extreme frustration, will make you sacrifice every other aspect of your life, and will make you sexually frustrated (don’t question this).
So, in other words, pack up your bags, and get to it (you aren’t young forever).
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
I’ve started dating this guy and he’s wonderful in every way. However, when we’re making out (we can’t have sex this is a Methodist school), I don’t know what to say. Thoughts?
Sincerely,
Trying not to mess this up
Dear trying not to mess this up,
Everyone is in fear of messing up relationships (or potential ones). So, to heat up your make out sessions, here is a list of all the things I have said to people in bed (tested and approved):
1. Ewww.
2. God this is weird.
3. Hahahhaa I’ve gone farther than you.
4. I killed Mufasa.
5. I also killed Batman’s parents. (if they agree with you they are a keeper)
6. I really don’t care about cancer.
7. I could probably strangle you in this position.
8. HIGH FIVE BRO
9. Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
10. You’re beautiful. Because in all honesty, when you truly like someone, that is really all you want to tell them.
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
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