Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I am so sweaty in my mask. How can I keep it from smelling like an armpit?
Sincerely, Perspiring Student
Dear Perspiring Student,
Everyone knows the best way to prevent body odor is deodorant! Just rub deodorant over the portion of your face covered by the mask. It can also function as a nice Chapstick or afternoon snack if it gets in your mouth. Yummy!
Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
Any ideas for a case of crippling fear of COVID? I don’t want to go to class LOL.
Sincerely, Concerned Student
Dear Concerned Student,
Don’t worry, you actually can’t catch COVID-19 at school! The virus is extremely courteous and respects students’ educations, so there’s no risk of catching it in large groups if you’re gathered for the purpose of learning! This isn’t backed by science, per say, but it’s what the government seemed to think as they opened up schools across the country while cases continued to rise, and it’s always best to trust them!
Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I want to invest in my friendships, but ‘no groups’ is so hard! What do I do?
Sincerely, Lonely Student
Dear Lonely Student,
I’d argue there is no better time to take up the art of telepathy; it’s contact free! If that doesn’t work, just use Zoom. :)
Sincerely, Ms. Marty Pants
Ms. Marty Pants is an expert on life and loves to give back to the community with her acclaimed problem-solving skills. Email any questions to Ms. Pants’s secretary at fiacovacci@my.okcu.edu.
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