Dear Ms. Marty Pants
Who should I trust to tell me to go outside? Trump? My governor? Protestors? The CDC?
Sincerely, Worried Student
Dear Worried Student,
That’s a good question! I’m definitely hearing mixed responses from the media too, and it can be tricky to know who to listen to. You should probably never go outside again, just to be safe!
Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I have a quarantine crush on Ms. Marty Pants, but I’m too afraid to tell her! What should I do?
Sincerely, Secret Admirer
Dear Secret Admirer,
Well, this is awkward….I mean, thank you! I’m truly flattered! I’m going to have to pass, but my advice is to take this rejection as inspiration for creative outlets. Channel your pain into your art!
Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I want to take online classes this summer, but my eyes feel like they’re going to fall out from staring at screens so much. Any advice?
Sincerely, Migraine Magnet
Dear Migraine Magnet,
For starters, you can put your phone down and stop reading this!
Sincerely, Ms. Marty Pants
Ms. Marty Pants is an expert on life and loves to give back to the community with her acclaimed problem-solving skills. Email any questions to Ms. Pants’s secretary at fiacovacci@my.okcu.edu.
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