Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
We’ve been using Zoom for a few weeks now, and there’s still someone in my classes who won’t mute their microphone. How should I tell them to stop?
Sincerely, Virtually Annoyed Student
Dear Virtually Annoyed Student,
My advice is to reach out to your teacher and ask them to send the class an email about the matter. You’ll know if they respond because they’ll probably hit “reply all.”
Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I just started working at a grocery store and am now around people all the time. How do I stay healthy and avoid the virus?
Sincerely, Essential Employee
Dear Essential Employee,
That’s tricky, because any customer that walks in could have the virus, even if they don’t know they do! You should probably try to stay away from people as much as you can. If customers come up to you and ask for help, just cough a little, and I promise they’ll leave you alone!
Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
Quarantine has thirsty boys sliding into my DMs, and I would rather not respond. How do I navigate this unprecedented time and avoid online interaction with those I don’t find amusing?
Sincerely, Uninterested Instagram User
Dear Uninterested Instagram User,
Most people would simply block the account that sent the unwelcomed messages, but I don’t think anyone learns from that. If this person sent inappropriate content, I advise you to write a two-page essay (double spaced, size 12 Times New Roman font) about consent and respecting your peers online. The person who sent it will either realize what they’ve done wrong or be so annoyed that they’ll never message you again! It’s truly a win-win.
Sincerely, Ms. Marty Pants
Ms. Marty Pants is an expert on life and loves to give back to the community with her acclaimed problem-solving skills. Email any questions to Ms. Pants’s secretary at fiacovacci@my.okcu.edu.
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