Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
How do I stop spending all my money on coffee?
Sincerely, caffeine addict
That’s simple! Spend it all on something else instead!
Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I want to start recycling and being more environmentally aware. How can I start?
Sincerely, guilty plastic-consumer
Dear guilty plastic-consumer,
First of all, I’m so glad you want to make a difference! Everyone knows the simple ways like recycling and using reusable bags at the grocery store, but if you really want to make a change you’re going to have to get creative. For example, I know some of my teachers like to recycle jokes for multiple classes as to not waste time thinking of new ones! Another example is to recycle essays, so you don’t waste electronic energy using your computer to write another. Lastly, I’d suggest recycling emails by sending the same one to your congressman everyday urging them to act on climate change!
Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
There’s been a raccoon in the Cokesbury dumpster for five days now…do you think I can adopt it?
Sincerely, student who wants a pet
Dear student who wants a pet,
Sure! My advice is to register the racoon as a therapy animal. If you seriously want to adopt a raccoon, I’m sure you’ll meet the qualifications to get it certified!
Sincerely, Ms. Marty Pants
Ms. Marty Pants is an expert on life and loves to give back to the community with her acclaimed problem-solving skills. Email any questions to Ms. Pants’s secretary at fiacovacci@my.okcu.edu.
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