“Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I’m not getting enough sleep. I keep staying up late and waking up early for 8 a.m.’s. What should I do?
Sincerely, insomniac”
Dear insomniac,
You should always turn to medicine when you have trouble sleeping. Lucky for you, we have an Insomnia Cookies less than two miles away from campus! Their cookies have a special ingredient that cures insomnia, hence the bakery’s name. They’re even open until 3 a.m., so insomniacs can get them when they’re most in need. Hope this helps!
“Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I didn’t know we had toget a new parking pass every year and I got a parking ticket! Do you think I could get out of it?
Sincerely, not feeling fine”
Dear not feeling fine,
I really don’t think there’s anything you could do. It only seems right to pay for parking at a school for which we already pay tuition and housing. We may be required to live on campus until we’re 21, but we’re not entitled to have the luxury of a car. We really don’t deserve any handouts.
“Dear Ms. Marty Pants,
I have a meal plan but have class and work during both the lunch and dinner hours. Since we can’t use meal swipes in the market anymore, I’ve been using points and I’m already about to run out. What should I do?
Sincerely, hungry student”
Dear hungry student,
You should definitely be able to use the meal swipes you’re already paying for. My advice is to quit your job and re-arrange your schedule so you can make it to the cafeteria when it’s open!
Sincerely,
Ms. Marty Pants
Ms. Marty Pants is an expert on life and loves to give back to the community with her acclaimed problem-solving skills. Email any questions to Ms. Pants’ secretary at fiacovacci@my.okcu.edu.
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