In this week’s column, I’ll be tackling moving out, exhaustion and leftover stars points.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
How do I get rid of my stuff after moving out?
Sincerely,
Too Many Things
Dear Too Many Things,
If you sing that name to the tune of “Too Many Cooks,” it is infinitely better.
You see, OCU Buy Sell Trade just doesn’t cut it anymore. Go up to random strangers on the street and ask them to buy your stuff. If they say no, throw it at them and say, “THE LORD COMPELS IT,” and run away.
I truly believe that is the way corporations work.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
I feel exhausted and drained by the world. What do I do?
Sincerely,
Drained and in Pain
Dear Drained and in Pain,
So…
let’s just admit it… the world is a horrible place. So there is only one thing you can do… realize that the only person in the world who is truly happy is pop sensation Taylor Swift, and realize you must become her. Here’s how:
- Buy a ton of cats.
- Completely reinvent your style so you consistently look like a beautiful princess.
- Buy a bunch of Grammys.
- Kidnap Taylor Swift in order to replace her.
- Realize you love Taylor Swift too much to hurt her and free her back into the wild.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
I have so many points on my Starcard left… what should I do to get rid of them?
Sincerely,
Do you take Stars Cash?
Dear Do you take Stars Cash?,
Donate them to the hungry… the hungry being me.
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
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