In this week’s column, I’ll be tackling tanning, beach bodies and trying to kill your classmates with water guns.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
How do I achieve a tan?
Sincerely,
Pale and Not Proud
Dear Pale and Not Proud,
Do not shame me for being a less beautiful version of Snow White.
Tanning is expensive, so my advice is to go to the scene shop, get some paint, and bathe in it until you achieve your ideal shade.
I’d argue that it is safer than tanning, but the fumes may kill you…
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
After a long winter, it’s finally warm. What should I do to celebrate?
Sincerely,
Soak up the Sun
Dear Soak up the Sun,
I’m probably not the ideal person to ask, since the only thing I really do is lay in my apartment and write this column.
So, judging from what everyone else seems to be doing, this is what you should do:
- Wear shorts,
- eat ice cream,
- play frisbee, even though you have no athletic abilities,
- have a picnic, and then realize you can’t afford it so you go to the caf instead, or
- try to kill your classmates with water guns.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
Swimsuit season is coming soon, and I don’t feel like I’m beach body ready. Any advice on how to achieve the beach body?
Sincerely,
Need to Remove my Winter Fat
Dear Need to Remove my Winter Fat,
If you have a body and you’re on a beach, congratulations, you have achieved it.
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
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