In this week’s column, I’ll be tackling issues such as room checks, cramps and hamster balls.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
My room check is coming up, and I have no time to clean. What do I do?
Sincerely,
Opposite of Clean Freak
Dear Opposite of Clean Freak,
My apartment looks like a family with five children lives there.
The plot twist is that I live alone.
My advice is to just stuff all of the mess under your bed. It’s a good place to store a dead body, therefore, a good place to store your dirty laundry.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
Everyone is getting sick, and I really cannot afford that. Any advice on how not to catch what’s going on?
Sincerely,
Fighting Against the Flu
Dear Fighting Against the Flu,
Look, this school is the equivalent of a Petree dish (full pun intended). It’s a swarm of bacteria.
Here is a list of ways to prevent getting sick:
1. Wrap your head in cloth like a mummy so you cannot breathe in the bad air.
2. Develop a concoction of Emergen-C and tumeric. Bathe in it.
3. Carry a frying pan around and threaten to hit anyone who comes near you.
4. Find a giant hamster ball and walk around campus in it.
5. Don’t go to class and just avoid people.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
My uterus is killing me. How do I fix it?
Sincerely,
Unlucky
Dear Unlucky,
Go to the government and demand a refund.
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
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