Alright my dears, this is the last column of 2018! It’s been a year full of love, laughs and watching the entire world fall apart as we know it. 
Since it’s the holidays, it’s time to sit back and think about what’s important. It’s time to think about family. It’s time to think about friends. It’s time to think about how Christmas has become a completely capitalized holiday.
Let’s begin.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
It’s the holidays, and everyone seems to be in love with someone except me. Is there any way I can have a Christmas sweetheart?
Sincerely,
Waiting Under the Mistletoe
Dear Waiting Under the Mistletoe,
First, I never understood why people kiss under mistletoe. Why is this plant a sign of courtship? Why not a cactus?
Anyway, my advice is to find a person you like. Hunt them down and handcuff them to yourself.
It is cuffing season after all.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
What gifts should I get my OCU friends this year?
Sincerely,
Is the Gift to be Simple
Dear Is the Gift to be Simple,
The gift may be simple. But if you’re an OCU student, the gift will probably be free because you probably can’t afford much else.
Here’s a list of relatively things to get your OCU friends:
1. OCU merchandise that you got during Stars Week
2. An ice cream cone from the cafeteria
3. One of your textbooks that you spent too much money on but will probably never use again
4. A single Chik-fil-A sauce
5. Motivation
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
Is Santa Claus real?
Sincerely,
Is he Naughty or Nice
Dear Is he Naughty or Nice,
Santa Claus is a man-made construct, because only man would promote the idea that a straight white man sneaking into children’s houses is a good idea.
He also gives gifts in exchange for snacks, which is not a particularly good exchange, but I understand it.
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
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