DEAR CRAZY KAZOO LADY: A BAD ADVICE COLUMN

In this week’s column, I tackle depression, dryness and how Children of Eden is the best musical of all time.

Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,

My skin is so dry from this cold weather. I feel like I’m putting on lotion every hour, but it’s not working.

Any beauty tips?

Sincerely,

Dried Up

Dear Dried Up,

Thank you for contacting me about beauty tips. Judging from the fact that I am a satirist who has the skin care routine of a middle-aged man (there is none), I am the obvious candidate for this.

From what I’ve been told, applying a combination of goat’s milk, whiskey and monkey urine is the way to keep your skin moisturized.

You can also go to LUSH, have the salespeople dote on you, realize you don’t actually want anything, and then sneak out like a ninja.

Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,

I’m trying to get motivated for finals. Music often helps me, so I wanted to know – what is your pump up playlist?

Sincerely,

Prepping and Pumping

Dear Prepping and Pumping,

Because I am a theater snob, my music tastes are impeccable as well.

Here are the most recent songs I’ve been blasting on repeat this week:

1. Lost in the Wilderness from Children of Eden

2. Lost in the Wilderness from Children of Eden

3. Lost in the Wilderness, still from Children of Eden

4. I literally only listened to Lost in the Wilderness from Children of Eden this month

5. Stranger to the Rain, also from Children of Eden

Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,

How do I fight this seasonal depression?

Sincerely,

Under the Weather

Dear Under the Weather,

Hallmark movies. There’s a reason these white as snow movies come out at this time of the year.

Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.