In this week’s column, I tackle bad days, voting and Guy Fieri.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
What do you do when you’ve had a bad day?
Sincerely,
Trying to Turn It Around
Dear Trying to Turn It Around,
People will tell you to use healthy coping skills. They will tell you to drink tea. They will tell you to do yoga. They will even tell you to go on a yearlong adventure where you travel the world, even though you don’t have the money to do so.
My advice is to eat a whole thing of garlic bread and listen to My Chemical Romance or early Taylor Swift, because we know “Teardrops on my Guitar” is a masterpiece.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
I dated this guy for a bit. However, I realized he wasn’t for me, so I broke things off. However, he will not stop texting me, and I’m tired of telling him I’m not interested. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Can’t Be Bothered
Dear Can’t Be Bothered,
As someone who often scares men, I am very much an expert on how to get them to stop texting you.
A list of things you can text him back,
- Currently peeing.
- Can’t talk, washing my cactus.
- The old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now? Why? CAUSE SHE’S DEAD!
- I’m joining a nunnery.
- Want to watch a Guy Fieri Food Network show with me?
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
How do I register to vote?
Sincerely,
Rock the Vote
Dear Rock the Vote,
You don’t need to register to vote. Just go online and express your opinions. That causes change.
I’m kidding, please vote. We’re in shambles. I beg you, vote.
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
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