In this week’s column, I tackle casting, motivation and exorcisms.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
It’s already the second week, and I have no motivation to get anything done. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Second Week Dread, Already Dead
Dear Second Week Dread, Already Dead,
I get you. The only thing that has been getting me through this week is playing “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips (apologies to my neighbors).
You know when there’s a fly in your apartment, and you suddenly forget about everything you’ve ever wanted to accomplish, everything you had to get done that day, and your new life objective is to kill that lil b$*^h?
Tackle everything with that kind of vigor. Or, use it as an excuse to procrastinate everything that needs to be done.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
My roommate is possessed and I need to perform an exorcism. How do I do it?
Sincerely,
Exorcising
Dear Exorcising,
You should exercise your right to have a roommate that is not possessed. Do you get the pun?
How to perform an exorcism:
- Get a water bottle.
- Have a priest bless it.
- Throw the water on your roommate.
- Watch your roommate scream, “I’M MELTING” as they disintegrate into the floor.
- Clean it up?
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
I wasn’t cast in a show this semester and I feel really depressed. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Showless and Sad
Dear Showless and Sad,
My advice is to start your own satirical advice column.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that things will turn out better, but that’s what I did.
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
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