Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady: A Bad Advice Column

In this week’s column, I discuss complaining, self love and throwing computers. 

Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,

How can I complain without feeling bad about complaining cuz everybody got something to complain about, ya know? 

Sincerely,  

Too Much Whine and Not Enough Cheese, I Don’t F$*kin Know 

Dear Too Much Whine and Not Enough Cheese, I Don’t F$*kin Know,

First, this is the best pseudonym I’ve ever gotten. 

Second, the only way to assure that you are not burdening anyone with your complaints is to scream to the void.  

The void will probably scream back saying “I HAVE PROBLEMS TOO YOU KNOW!” 

Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady, 

How do I love myself? 

Sincerely, 

Crazy Kazoo Lady Loves Me, Why Can’ t I? 

Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady Loves Me, Why Can’t I? 

I will need proof of this. 

Also, you should practice self-care. Here are some things you can do: 

1. Rub yourself with bath salts. 
2. Rub yourself with pink salt. 
3. Rub yourself with kosher salt. 
4. Rub yourself with other salty substances, such as meth. 
5. Be salty.  

Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady, 

Why do I have writer’s block? 

Sincerely, 

I Can’t Write 

Dear I Can’t Write, 

I have only one thing to say to you: 

Throw your computer across the room. I’ve already done that after attempting to write this week’s column.  

Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.