The Bradford Pear has a large population at OCU. The trees are often insulted for their foul scent. One of them had enough and started going to therapy to work on his personal growth.
Q: Why did you decide to go to therapy?
A: I couldn’t take the insults any longer. My self-worth has been split in half like the weak crotches of my 20 year-old ancestors.
Q: What insults are you referring to?
A: People call me disgusting because I’m interbred, but that’s part of the Bradford Pear culture. They also say I’m invasive, but I don’t mean to intrude. I just want to provide as much shade and beauty as I can. Lately, though, no one calls me beautiful anymore.
Q: Do you think the problem could result from your body odor?
A: I guess, but it’s not my fault that I smell like rotting fish when I blossom. I can’t help my natural scent, and people shouldn’t call me such mean names.
Q: What kind of names do they call you?
A: I’ve been called “fish tree,” “rotting meat tree” and “pussy willow,” but I am not even a willow! I was flattered when someone called me the “sexy tree,” until I realized they didn’t mean it as a compliment.
Q: What would you like people to call you?
A: I prefer “Braddy Boy” or “Chief Highness Brad, King of all Trees.”
Q: If you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make in your life?
A: I would grow taller than the Gold Star building and stretch my branches all the way across campus so, when I bloom, it looks like it’s snowing. Then, I would force students to make snow angels in the fruits of my limbs while deeply inhaling my scent and whispering sweet compliments into my bark.
Q: Who would you consider a friend on this campus?
A: My best friends are the sweet dogs that baptize my trunk with their urine and that one sophomore who can’t smell.
Q: Some officials have complained that you are weak and can’t survive a storm or the straight winds of Oklahoma. Do you think this is a problem?
A: Absolutely not. I am susceptible to the elements, yes. But that means I am in touch with my emotions and let the world around me affect me to the core. In today’s world, weakness is strength.
Q: Do you ever wish you were a different type of tree?
A: That’s an unhealthy question that I refuse to answer because I’m working on a more positive view of myself.
Q: Would you like to say anything to the campus community?
A: We’re not so different. On this campus, we’re all young, delicate, mostly white, and sometimes smelly. We just want to be loved.
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self-esteem is important. I heard that with low self-esteem you cannot get a maximum of you.