In this week’s article, we deal with flings, Star Wars, and erotica.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady
Who is the Senate?
-Someone who Talks too Much in Star Wars Quotes
Dear Someone who Talks too Much in Star Wars Quotes,
I don’t know much about Star Wars. From what I can gather, it is about a guy who wears a black mask and has respiratory issues.
But if you’re asking American wise, the Senate is a group of straight white men that disagrees with everything I believe in. The only similarity is that we never get anything done.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
I’m interested in starting a summer fling. How do I get one?
Sincerely,
Cool for the Summer
Dear Cool for the Summer,
Getting a summer fling is very simple.
First, go to a place with a body of water, whether it is the beach, a lake, or a water fountain. Everyone loves water.
Second, make yourself look sexy, so you can attract potential mates. Some people wear bathing suits during the summer to attract mates. However, you are in college and probably gained a lot of weight during finals week. In that case, take it back a few eras, and wear victorian dress. 1800s sexy is in (yes, I know it’s a million degrees outside, but if they suffered, so can we).
Third, when you find a potential mate, don’t use pick up lines (those are boring). Instead, use an actual fishing rod to reel them in (do not let them go, no matter how much they beg you). Do not attach worms to the hook… attach condoms.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
I got a Tinder, and this guy I matched with this guy who has started sending sections of an erotic novel that he’s written about me. What do I do?Sincerely,
It’s Going Down, I’m Yelling Tinder
Dear It’s Going Down, I’m Yelling Tinder,
What.
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
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