This week’s article deals with babies, self esteem, and prolonged eye contact.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
I’m about to go on a date. What’s the best food to eat when you go out?Sincerely,
Hot Stuff
Dear Hot Stuff,
Who do you think you are?
Anyway, this is largely going to depend on where you go out to eat.
If you go out to get Italian, get a dish with a lot of garlic, so if your date is a vampire, you can scare them away.
If you get Mexican food, order tacos, because the grease is a nice hand lotion.
If you go out Chinese food, order an octopus because it is expensive, and you need to show that you are priceless.
If you go out to get coffee, order the largest drink you can, with extra espresso. When they ask why, simply reply: “The world is a large circle full of nothing and caffiene no longer affects me,” as you put the coffee to your lips and lock eyes. Do not stop making eye contact. Show your dominance.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
This has been a pretty rough semester. My self-esteem
and confidence have been pretty low. I have been having a hard time liking myself. Any thoughts?Sincerely,
Down and Out
Dear Down and Out,
I get it. It is pretty easy to hate yourself at a school like this, where it feels like everyone is succeeding, but you’re not.
But let me let you in on a little secret; no one knows what they are doing. Even the people that you look up to, the ones who seems to have it all together, feel the same way you do. Especially with the rise in social media, it is much easier now to cover up the fact that we are not okay. If people were truly
honest, the majority of their facebook timelines would be about how many times they considered dropping out this week.
My advice, (for once, I am actually giving advice that is somewhat solid); learn to love yourself. Actually, first step: learn to like yourself. Learning to like who I am and learning to accept myself has been difficult… But it has to be done, or else you will be relying on others for happiness, which is a horrible way to live.
But if I can believe in myself, I know that you can too.
Dear Crazy Kazoo Lady,
I want a baby. Am I ready?Sincerely,
Baby Mama
Dear Baby Mama,
You are asking this question on a college advice blog, where the misnomer is “Crazy Kazoo Lady”. You are not ready to have a baby. End of story.
Crazy Kazoo Lady has life experience and is ready to share it with the world. She’ll answer your questions and give you advice on everyday problems. Email any questions to chawthorne@my.okcu.edu.
Leave a Reply