Sarah Keast, acting junior, always has an opinion when it comes to relationships. In this interview, I named qualities in a potential spouse, and she responded if the hypothetical situation was a deal breaker or a deal maker.
Q: They have a massive beard but shave off all other hair on their body.
A: That’s fine! I mean, I don’t want hair down there. I don’t like that stuff. You don’t want a really hairy chest. That’s kinda gross, in my opinion. Granted, I’ve never really had a boyfriend before.
Q: They only sing original songs, written by themselves.
A: They don’t talk? Oh, just when they sing? That’s fine. Might be a little annoying, but whatever, as long as they talk.
Q: They refuse to watch any TV show other than Family Feud.
A: No. That’s a big deal breaker. I watch a lot of TV. If he can’t watch Arrow, that’s a big deal breaker. No no no.
Q: Every time they sneeze, a miniature book comes out of their mouth.
A: No, that’s weird.
Q: Their true life passion is window installation.
A: I mean, you do you, but you’re not gonna bring home the bacon. I get that everyone has their dreams, but you need to have a legit job. If I can’t bring it home as an actor, he needs to. Sorry to all “window installationers” out there.
Q: Their love language is dad jokes.
A: That’s awesome. Dad jokes are funny.
Q: They drive a semi as their everyday car, even though their job is not truck driving.
A: That’s kinda cool. I’ve never actually been in a semi. If it’s the truck and the trailer, that might be creepy though.
Q: Every year for your birthday, they get you a Chia pet.
A: That’s awesome, yes. If they make an Arrow chia pet, I want that.
Q: They write in their favorite celebrity, Steve Buschemi, on every presidential ballot.
A: Who is that? Whatever, that’s fine. That doesn’t have to do with me. He’s not a murderer, so that’s all I can ask for.
Q: They live in the city and own 14 tractors.
A: I don’t know why they have 14 but sure.
Q: They think clowns are getting a bad rap, so they started a service organization where members dress up as clowns and sneak around doing good deeds like cleaning litter and planting trees.
A: That’s creepy. No. Deal breaker.
Q: They grew up in a rest stop by themselves, but they’re still educated because there was wifi.
A: I mean, using your resources. That’s fine. It doesn’t matter how you got your education, as long as you’re smart.
Q: They are a professional musician and just won a Grammy, but you think their music is the worst thing you’ve ever heard and actually scream every time you listen to it.
A: If he’s a nice person, it doesn’t matter if his music sucks.
Q: They spend at least $73 per week buying belt buckles for your infant child.
A: I mean, he could be spending that on something more useful. But it might turn into something cool in the long run. I won’t say it’s a deal breaker.
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