In honor of William Shakespeare’s 400th anniversary, I decided to use only questions asked by Shakespeare in his sonnets.
Dylan Smith-Sutton, cell and molecular biology senior, has little Shakespeare experience but answered the questions in his own fashion.
Q: Unthrifty loveliness, why dost thou spend
Upon thy self thy beauty’s legacy?
A: My beauty’s worth is immeasurable.
Q: Is it for fear to wet a widow’s eye?
That thou consum’st thy self in single life?
A: In solitude can be found peace.
Q: Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
A: No.
Q: How can I then be elder than thou art?
A: Through wisdom.
Q: Why didst thou promise such a beauteous day?
A: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Q: What is your substance, whereof are you made?
A: Of that which can’t be seen. Carbon.
Q: Sweet thief, whence didst thou steal thy sweet that smells?
A: I guess my answer is a durian fruit. It’s the worst smelling fruit, but apparently the best tasting.
Q: Which in their wills count bad what I think good?
A: The will of man.
Q: For where is she so fair whose uneared womb
Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?
A: I think you know.
Q: Eat up thy charge? Is this thy body’s end?
A: Yes, it is.
Q: How can it? O! how can Love’s eye be true?
A: The eye is the window to the soul.
Q: Why dost thou pine within and suffer dearth,
Painting thy outward walls so costly gay?
A: The answer lies within.
Q: O! from what power hast thou this powerful might?
A: Willpower?
Q: What’s in the brain that ink may character?
A: The wisdom of man. Not in one man, nor a group of men, but in all. That’s a quote from the Bible and also Charlie Chaplin.
Q: Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love?
A: That one, I can just say no.
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