Every time I bike over the May and I-44 intersection, a homeless woman sitting on the bridge presses the crosswalk button for me. I appreciated the gesture, so I started bringing granola bars to toss to her as I biked past. This routine went on for about a month, when I realized I did not even know her name. I decided to ask her to lunch to hear her story.
Friday
Q: Hi, I’m Sage. I appreciate that you are always so kind to me when I cross this bridge. Do you think I could take you to lunch and ask you some questions about your life?
A: My name is Rhonda. It’s so nice to finally meet you! I would love that.
Saturday
Q: Hi, Rhonda, this is my friend. She’s joining us for lunch. Are you ready to go?
A: Actually, could we just stay around here? I really can’t afford to be gone from my post. I have some medical bills to pay.
Q: Uh, sure! Can we bring you lunch here?
A: Yes, that would be great. I like plain tuna sandwiches from Subway.
My friend and I bought her Subway order and returned to her post, where we ate lunch with her on the bridge as we talked.
Q: Would you mind telling us about your life up to now?
A: Well, I ended up here about Christmas time. I was in an abusive relationship. I was married for 30 years, while he abused me, physically and emotionally. He broke my hip twice and hurt me all over. At Christmas, I realized he was going to kill me, so I finally picked up and left. I don’t have any living relatives, so I didn’t know where else to go. I’ve been selling magazines and working as a housekeeper for a roofing company once a week, but it’s not enough to keep me off the streets. My husband’s family found me and tried to make me go back, but I wouldn’t.
Q: Ideally, what would you be doing right now, if you had the means?
A: I want to help other women in my situation so they don’t stay like I did. He told me he was going to make it so nobody else would want me. That stuck with me. Now, I struggle with self esteem issues, among other things. Women should not let it get to that point.
Q: What would you say to other women in a situation similar to yours?
A: If it happens once, it’ll happen again. He’ll say, “I’m sorry it’ll never happen again.” It’s not true.
Q: Are you from here in Oklahoma City?
A: I was born in Arkansas, but grew up in Houston, Texas. I moved here when I got married. Now, I’m still here because I know this place and don’t know where else I’d go. Some people tell me to go to a shelter, but I did. I stayed at City Rescue Mission, and it was the most dehumanizing experience. I was bullied, and they stole everything I had, including my mother’s Bible. It was almost like going from a bad situation to a worse one. Yes, it’s a meal, but it’s not a better experience. I know it’s not smart to stay out here on the streets, but I don’t have a choice.
Q: is there anyone who stops by here regularly?
A: One man comes through every Sunday morning and tells me what an awful human I am. Once, he called me trash and threw a green trash bag full of garbage at me. I just thought, “Do you not have anything better to do?” But one of my friends brought me this bible with my name on it. She also gave me this cross necklace.
Q: Would you say you are strong in your faith?
A: Absolutely. I don’t have much time to go to church, but I wouldn’t survive out here if I didn’t believe. I’ve never done drugs or smoked, and I don’t drink. I’m blessed that I dint have those problems; almost everyone out here needs something to get them through. Once, a man offered me a smoke. I was having a down day and almost accepted it, but then I thought, “Rhonda, you’re 61 years old and have never smoked a day in your life. Don’t start now.”
Q: What do you need the most?
A: Money obviously helps the most, but food and clothes. I need clothes. And blankets.
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