I’m not entirely sure how to go about writing a review of Syfy’s latest original movie, Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators. It’s not that it’s beyond criticism – on the contrary, in fact, it’s the worst film I’ve ever seen – it’s that it’s so mind-numbingly stupid that trying to say something remotely intelligent about it feels like a colossal waste of time. It’s such an easy target that it’s impossible not to point out its innumerable faults.
For starters, the plot is a bastardized version of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. I’m not kidding. Take Romeo and Juliet, set it in present day in the Louisiana bayou, and add rednecks turning into alligators, and you’ve got the gist of the movie. To explain it further would be useless, since the whole thing is really just an excuse to show people being mauled by fake reptiles.
Speaking of mauling, the violence in the film is preposterously dreadful. For instance, a gator attack is signified by someone offscreen waving what seems to be a big plastic gator between the camera and the person being bitten, accompanied by a few bursts of fake blood. It’s funny the first time it happens, but it quickly loses its charm.
As for the actors, they don’t seem to know how to go about making a movie like this. They’re not quite hamming it up for comedic effect, but they’re not playing it straight, either, and the effect is both confusing and cringe-inducing.
All in all, Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators is a terrible way to spend two hours. I’m reasonably certain that it’s supposed to be one of those so-bad-it’s-good experiences, but it isn’t. It’s too bad for that.
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