By Madi Alexander, Web Editor
Rape. Scary word, right? My freshman year, I was told to always keep an eye on my drinks, use the buddy system, always walk in well-lit areas, etc.
Somehow, if I obey these rules, I will never get raped? Somehow, this means that 66 percent of rapists aren’t known by the victims, but instead are strangers hiding in bushes?
I recently came across a humorous, albeit thought-provoking, list of rape prevention tips written by the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Here are a few:
1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
It seems sick to joke about rape, but this list brings up some interesting points. Rape prevention is predicated on women, and even men, being surprised by strangers in dark alleys or parking garages.
In reality, 38 percent of rapists are a friend of the victim, according to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network. Forty percent of rapes occur in the home of the victim and 25 percent of rapes are committed by an intimate partner of the victim.
Clearly, there is a fundamental flaw in the way we’re taught to prevent rape.
There’s a picture floating around Facebook of a woman holding a sign that reads “I need feminism because my university teaches ‘How To Avoid Getting Raped’ instead of ‘Don’t Rape’ at freshman orientation.”
In theory, I agree with this. The world would be a better place if we could teach people to not rape.
However, this is implausible because rapists are fundamentally flawed and would never be dissuaded by a “Don’t Rape” lecture. Instead, we need to promote healthy relationships and stop shaming people into never discussing healthy sexual practices.
A good friend of mine works at the Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center at the University of Michigan. He told me that all freshmen are required to attend a workshop called “Relationship Remix.”
Instead of teaching “don’t rape” or “how to avoid being raped,” UM promotes healthy relationships, encourages communication, emphasizes consent, and examines all forms of sexual assault, including forcible and coerced.
He said that scaring students about sexual assault is ineffective because it turns them off to learning about healthy relationships and consensual sex.
Instead, students are given the skills to maturely talk about sex, to ask for and give consent, and to recognize sexual assault of all types, not just those assaults involving physical force. UM emphasizes that each engaging person is responsible for making sure that everyone is consenting at every step along the way.
Aside from a 20-minute session on campus safety and two files on a flash drive provided during freshman orientation, I have had no other experience with sexual assault prevention on OCU’s campus.
Why doesn’t OCU use the same methods as UM? Why can’t the counselor tell me that I have the right to say no, that just because I kiss someone doesn’t mean I want sex, and that the decision to consent is mine and mine alone?
I would like to see the university change the way it teaches us about relationships, sex, and sexual assault. Instead of scaring us, empower us.
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