Since John Mulaney couldn’t make it to OCU for a show, we brought in his brother, Jimmy Mulaney, instead. Jimmy is a poor excuse for a stand-up comedian, but here are the highlights from his set about OCU.
- Have you heard about OCU’s theater program? I’d give it a Gold Star.
- The only callback I’ve ever gotten was when financial aid responded to my voicemail.
- As expensive as this school is, you’d think they’d take all the money they can get, but when I tried to give President Henry my two cents, he kicked me out. Then, I tried to weigh in at Ann Lacy, and they didn’t want my advice either!
- Some people join the basketball team for scholarships or because they love the game, but I joined to get more points. I spent all mine at Alvin’s.
- Chick-fil-A? More like Chick-empty-AF.
- I took a group of classmates to a mountain to go on a StarsSki, but we all just rammed into each other.
- I’m ready to graduate. Once, I pooped my pants at the library and people started calling me Mulaney-Brown.
- The only dates I can get at OCU are updates, and those aren’t successful either. I can’t even form a connection with the Wi-Fi.
- Typically, only Gamma Phis Miss OCU.
- I just don’t understand how this can be a dry campus when it’s a “stein way” school.
Comment below if you think you have a stand-up joke to rival Jimmy’s comedic genius.