Mick, the 20-year-old Domino’s pizza boy, works the night delivery shift and lives in his parents’ basement by day. His years of late-night human interaction has made him an expert in all the hot-button issues. Here are the opinions he has to share.
News: Trump announces ‘biggest tax cuts ever’ in U.S. history.
Mick’s thoughts: Sweet. If my customers don’t have to pay pizza taxes, they’ll give me better tips, right? One fancy dude in Heritage Hills gave me a single quarter for delivering 36 pizzas to his kid’s birthday party. I was pissed but then I realized how many corporate taxes the guy has to pay.
News: Virginia middle school ends football season early because of racially charged video, replaces remaining games with mandatory discussions.
Mick’s thoughts: Shoot, if somebody on my team made a video like that, I woulda killed them. There’s no way in hell I would’ve spent my senior year sitting in a circle instead of winning my last three games. I was second-string tight end.
News: A Japanese company that owns the trademark for “Animoji” is suing Apple for using their word to name the emoji feature.
Mick’s thoughts: Apple definitely could’ve picked a better name to begin with, like “Faces n’ stuff” or “Mick picks.”
News: The Los Angeles Dodgers will face off against the Houston Astros in the 2017 World Series.
Mick’s thoughts: Go ‘Stros!
News: Millions of sexual assault and harassment survivors used the hashtag “me too” to spread awareness to the magnitude of the issue.
Mick’s thoughts: Yeah my pals and I were talking about that and felt a little personally responsible until we remembered we’ve never had girlfriends or even potential flings.
News: U.S. government officials are looking into banning laptops from checked luggage on international flights.
Mick’s thoughts: If I ever go overseas, it’ll be to Amsterdam, and I won’t need a computer for the stuff I’m doing there.
News: Amazon customers in Florida ordered storage bins online and received their delivery filled with 65 pounds of marijuana from an unknown source.
Mick’s thoughts: WHAT?! Why would you ever report that?!
News: Archeologists in Germany discovered 9.7 million year old ape teeth that are from a time period much earlier than archaeologists believed that kind of ape to live in the region.
Mick’s thoughts: Is this supposed to matter? Is it about evolution? Cause I never learned that in Oklahoma public schools.
Comment below to ask Mick his opinions about other news stories.