Granny Perkins lives a simple life in her cozy Wisconsin cottage, but she makes sure to subscribe to a newspaper so she can keep up with the darling young folks that will replace her someday. Here are her thoughts on this week’s stories:
News: Polls report that most Trump supporters think rescinding DACA was the right thing to do, but they do not know what to do about DREAMers already affected by the program.
Granny’s thoughts: As a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution, I understand why people are protective of America because it’s our home. But homes are for entertaining guests! I don’t know how people can be so selfish. It’s just like my bridge club. Betty Jean sends us home when she gets the slightest arthritis flare-up, and Norma doesn’t invite us over at all!
News: An explosive went off on a London train on Friday, injuring dozens of passengers. Two men have been arrested for their connection to the incident.
Granny’s thoughts: This is why I don’t travel outside of Stockholm.
News: Despite confusing statements from Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, government officials still plan to back out of the Paris agreement unless American workers get a better deal.
Granny’s thoughts: Growing up, if I made a promise and then backed out of it, my daddy would be after me with a belt. It’s unfortunate that the youngsters in Washington didn’t grow up as properly as some of us.
News: Roald Dahl’s widow, Felicity Dahl, revealed in a BBC interview that the original Charlie in Charlie
and the Chocolate Factory was written to be black before his agent suggested a race
change. Dahl said she thinks it would be wonderful to see a rewrite that recast Charlie as black.
Granny’s thoughts: I think this sounds like a cute idea, but the best Charlie Bucket is my grandson, Davy Jr. Davy played Charlie in his middle school production last year, and I have never been prouder. That boy is destined for greatness.
News: Many Hurricane Irma survivors returned home but still have no power. Some Florida residents became tired of pre-packaged foods and got creative, cooking grilled cheese on metal shutters.
Granny’s thoughts: I don’t know how those folks are surviving without home-cooked meals. My mailman Johnny wouldn’t let me send Tupperware containers of meatloaf, but I make extra batches of my family’s secret mashed potato recipe, along with fig pudding for dessert, in case any of those fellas want to stop by for dinner.
News: The music video platform Vevo was recently hacked by OurMine, a security business that hacks random companies to check their security, with the supposed goal of improving world security.
Granny’s thoughts: I don’t know anything about fancy digital singing, but I recommend that all companies get a LifeAlert membership. My button necklace has kept me very secure.
News: Jeffrey Sandusky, adopted son of Jerry Sandusky, pled guilty to child sexual abuse.
Granny’s thoughts: This is disgusting. I don’t want to hear about this kind of crap. My grandson – Gary, not Davy. Davy is my favorite – named his character “Jerry,” after that criminal, in his Clash of Clans video game, and I nearly disowned him. He’s in hot water anyway, though, because he never calls me, and I just KNOW he’s stopped going to church.
News: Three women are suing Google, their former employer, with claims of large-scale gender pay discrimination.
Granny’s thoughts: I’ll admit, I used to be under the belief that women should be wives before all else, but my daughter-in-law has become a very successful car salesperson. I’m proud to say she has changed my view. She also sold me my new Mercury Grand Marquis. I never liked that Google corporation much anyway. Microsoft is definitely the better company. I hope these three ladies get the money they deserve and also nice husbands, but only if they want them.
News: Studies show that it typically takes longer for Spanish students to learn English than students natively fluent in other languages.
Granny’s thoughts: Gosh, I don’t know much about learning languages, but I bet any of those little kids learn English better than I can learn any of this darned technology. One of my grandbabies helped me check my voicemail for the first time since I got my phone, and I had messages from 2002!
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