As the school year starts to end and students look forward to the summer, there’s one thing almost all college kids have in common: they’re broke. Regardless of your summer plans, here are some ways to prevent going further down the pit of debt.
1. Fly United Airlines
Lord knows their tickets will be the cheapest.
2. Stock up on Sodexo leftovers.
When Sodexo packs up, raid the freezer, and dine like royalty.
3. Stop using water.
Defecate in a bush, and stop showering. Your water bill will decrease along with the money you would potentially be spending on dates.
4. Bake Trump a chocolate cake.
Let him take a few bites, and then ask for money.
5. Use Tinder to your advantage.
Plan a Tinder date to a concert. Say you’ll buy the tickets if they Venmo you their half. Take the money and run. (Disclaimer: though this option is effective, it makes you a terrible person)
6. Give voice/acting/dance lessons to the poor kids from Red Room Studio.
Legally Blonde was rough, but they have spirit. There’s hope.
7. Babysit Sean Spicer.
8. Set up a GoFundMe for yourself.
Surely, everyone will be down to donate hundreds of dollars to support your frivolous lifestyle. If you say it’s a good cause, it must be.
9. Go to Sam’s Club and never leave.
That place has everything. As long as you don’t get caught, you’d easily be sustained for the summer.
10. Offer to drink Pepsi in public for a stipend.
You may be their best PR option at this point.
If you think of another way to save/make money this summer, comment below!