Sometimes, you feel shitty about yourself. I get it. OCU is full of insanely beautiful people who are also nice, funny, AND talented. It’s not fair. Even on our best days, our self-confidence can plummet after simply looking out the window and thinking, “wow, that person is better than me in literally every way.”
Instead of recognizing that these thoughts are 100 percent false, our minds attack us until we break down in to a puddle of self-shame. That’s not productive, so here are some ways to stop your self-abuse.
1. Get rid of your negative self-image.
Destroy all mirrors.
2. Stop worrying about what other people think of you.
Destroy all humans.
3. Get the respect you deserve.
Program all your devices to call you “your highness badass master.”
4. Embrace your body.
Go clubbing with your ugliest friend, so you’ll look hotter (this never fails because beauty is NOT relative).
5. Take some time for yourself.
Quit everything that takes up time or might possibly be occasionally stressful.
6. Listen to the helpful advice that’s out there.
Turn on Delilah’s station, and never turn her off.
7. Use reverse psychology.
Make a New Year’s resolution to hate yourself. Those resolutions never come true, so it must work.
8. Take a deep breath and calm down.
Shut down all your emotions until you feel nothing.
9. Have a fun movie night with yourself.
Watch your favorite rom-com, but edit out the main character’s face and replace it with your own.
10. Star in a show.
If you can’t get cast, write your own one-person show. Hold auditions. Hold callbacks. Be dramatic. Cast yourself. Make them watch. You are a star.
For real, though, you are enough. Love yourself.