Spring Break starts in a week, and though the semester has been speeding by, many of us are experiencing symptoms that prove we’re more than ready for a week off.
If you identify with any of he following symptoms, you too have fallen victim to this spring (break) fever.
- Spring Break out
Time for midterms = time for more acne medication. Midterm stress zits are real.
- Spring Breakdown
You may find yourself in a sobbing pile of despair over something as small as an empty roll of toilet paper, or for no reason at all.
- Spring Breakup
Relationships don’t typically thrive under stressful, sleepless conditions, so if you’ve got a Bahamas trip planned with your lover next week, don’t take out your anger on them now.
- Spring Breakdance
Aside from the literal spring dance show, students often find themselves in a spontaneous break dance this time of year. Sometimes the dance helps release frustration, and other times, it’s less of a dance and more of a twitching human writhing with stress.
- Spring Brake
This is the term for when your to-do list is longer than the walk to Meinders and instead of accomplishing anything, you’re paralyzed on your couch.
- Spring Break the law
This is an extreme symptom that you should consciously avoid.
- Spring Break into song
This is only a symptom if you’re a science or business major.
- Spring Breakfast
This is when you’re so overwhelmed with responsibilities that you neglect them all and make yourself a gourmet breakfast instead.
- Spring Breakthrough
During a moment of deep contemplation while avoiding homework, you may suddenly discover the meaning of life before realizing that your government teacher doesn’t care and will still fail you if you don’t study.
- Spring Barack
Regardless of your political orientation, if you find yourself creating a Barack Obama shrine in your closet, it’s time for a break.
If you haven’t experienced any of these symptoms, congratulations. You’re either a superhuman or have a boring, challenge-less life. If you do identify with any of these, hang on for one more week! In the meantime, I suggest showers, self pep talks, sludge (coffee), and spontaneous screaming.