Regardless of our political views, OCU students cannot deny a few core similarities we share with the Republican presidential nominee.
1. We’re into beauty pageants.
We crown a Miss OCU every year, and several students are able to attend OCU because of Miss America-affiliated pageants. Trump also has close ties to beauty pageants. He owned the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants before selling them in 2015. In a CNN interview, he said he enjoys inspecting the contestants.
2. We love Twitter.
3. We often do embarrassing things at 3:20 a.m.
Trump often tweets about things on his mind (like Hillary Clinton and sex tapes) late at night, when normal people are asleep. OCU students are also often awake at these hours, though our questionable decisions are usually less publicly documented.
4. We know it’s important to maintain clean, censored, social media profiles.
OCU faculty and staff remind us constantly that our profiles represent us, and we need to keep them professional for future employers. Trump must have received a similar speech.
5. We tried and failed at the football thing.
For two years, Trump owned the New Jersey Generals of the United States Football League. The USFL tried to challenge the NFL but folded, ending Trump’s football career. OCU also had a football team back in the day, but the program collapsed when a bunch of male students were drafted in World War II.
6. We don’t enjoy paying taxes.
In the Oct. 9 debate, Trump acknowledged that he avoided paying personal federal income taxes for years by using a $916 million dollar loss. OCU students’ taxes look very different, but we can hardly blame him – we hate spending money on anything that doesn’t involve food.
7. We feel confident every once in a while.
In times of stress and self-judgement, we know it is important to acknowledge our good qualities and maintain some self esteem. Trump also values confidence. We both allow ourselves to feel good without degrading others.
8. We’re very concerned with women’s weights.
In an interview on Fox and Friends, Trump criticized the weight gain of a Miss Universe winner. He has also called women fat on Twitter. OCU has weigh-ins.
9. We’d rather not tell everyone how much money we have.
No one knows the monetary worth of Donald Trump. He makes claims about his wealth, but no one knows exactly how much money he has. OCU students also keep their finances a secret, mainly because we’re dirt poor and feel embarrassed about the amount of money we just spent on food.
10. We enjoy pussies.
OCU students rarely pass up the chance to pet a kitten. We also love the stray cats that wander onto campus. Sometimes, we even feel the urge to grab them. Trump also loves pussies, but the love is a bit different.
If you disagree or find another similarity, comment below!