I experienced another college campus over the weekend and realized all the details about OCU that I took for granted or assumed were normal. Turns out, this college is super freaking weird. Here are some reasons:
1. Happy Birthday
Any time a group of students sings “Happy Birthday,” people add harmonies, and it always sounds like a heavenly choir of angels. When I hear the song at home or in a restaurant or something, I expect the same quality of music but instead get a chorus of dying animals.
Like every school, we have a homecoming weekend, but instead of a simple football game, we have elaborate window painting and lip sync competitions.
Everyone has 15 littles through various organizations, and they draw chalk art for them on the sidewalks. Students spend hours drawing chalk art so good it belongs in museums, even though they know the sprinklers will wash it away the next day.
4. Hall of Queens
In the main lobby of the largest auditorium, there is a TERRIFYING wall of beauty queen faces. I mean, they’re all gorgeous (they all won the Miss OCU pageant), but walking through the hall is way to similar to walking through the house of a grandma who collects too many ceramic dolls.
5. Greek parties
Greek houses host massive parties every other weekend, which sounds pretty normal, except that every party revolves around the massive consumption of a particular type of food (pancakes one weekend, then grilled cheese or pie the next). On most campuses, Greek parties involve pizza and beer with a loud stereo system, but here, we listen to live musicians and slam poets while scarfing down 20 different kinds of mac and cheese.
6. Sword fights
Students often observe their classmates fighting on the quad with swords or staging performance art where they block the sidewalk or applaud for everyone they see. No one even bats an eye – everyone considers that sort of behavior normal and ignores it, but as soon as a goose arrives on campus, students swarm it with cameras.
Regardless of gender or major, EVERYONE is super freaking attractive because #WeighIns #Athletes #BroadwayBod.
8. Female fame
Two of OCU’s biggest claims to fame involve women’s wrestling titles and graduating the most Rockettes. These accomplishments highlight the diversity in our female population, as well as the extreme gender ratio imbalance. Where are all the dudes?
9. Caf brunch
Everyone bitches about the caf, but at weekend brunch, a million people always line up to see Willie and eat his fancy pancakes. Everyone knows Willie personally, and that man does what he wants. He lectures some students about manners and threatens to stop serving them, but he gives other students special treatment and gifts like teddy bears or watches.
OCU is a Protestant college in the center of the extremely conservative state of Oklahoma, yet it is one of the most liberal square miles in the country.
We are called the “OCU Stars,” but our mascot is a ram… That makes no sense…?!?!
If you disagree, or think of another reason, comment below!