Matthew Tuley, acting freshman, shares dreams and thoughts on subjects such as shirts, jokes, and food.
Q: If you were a graphic t-shirt, describe the design.
A: It’s blue, cotton, and says “Hey dude” and then maybe in like parentheses have “ette.” Like “Hey dude(ette).”
Q: Do you make your bed every morning?
A: No. You can put exclamation points. I can’t wake up in the morning.
Q: How would your parents describe you?
A: Can I ask them? I texted them if you have one word to describe me, what would you say? Hang on. Okay… They said “Authentic.” Not what I would have chosen.
Q: What is your top non-human role model?
A: I’m a really big fan of sea lions. They’re hilarious and they know it. I love animals that understand that they’re good at entertaining.
Q: What’s your least favorite holiday?
A: I’m going to look up holidays quickly, just to see if I hate any of them. Oh! I remember now! Box day. It’s the day after Christmas. I went to a Box Day party once. It was okay, but you know, it’s not Christmas. It’s a wannabe holiday for the best holiday of all.
Q: If you could invent a class and take it, what would you want it to be?
A: It would be the study of the importance of the film Forrest Gump. The problem is I’d probably try to teach it. That’s what I want.
Q: What is the worst joke you have ever heard?
A: I’m not a big fan of the women in the kitchen jokes. I’ve never understood that.
Q: What is the best joke you’ve ever heard?
A: Horse in the barnyard – courtesy of Tom Hoblin. It would take about 15 minutes to tell, though.
Q: What’s the dream?
A: I’d like to get to a point where I’m fairly well known within the business and maybe a little bit out of it. Between film and stage, I’d have enough resources and know enough people that I could create work. I’d be okay and not be a starving artist. You know.
Q: What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?
A: I was in PE in elementary school. For some reason, they split us up, boys and girls. The pavilion at my school was raised up in the sky. That’s where the girls played. And we played in what should have been the bike rack but was actually a basketball court. The vocal director from my church growing up was our gym coach. We started hurling insults at one another, the two genders. Then, I was suddenly transported to the floating pavilion where there were risers all around the stage. Our gym teacher was giving a speech to all of us about why we need to get along, and then a girl by the name of Lindsey Fitz took the stage and began to sing the Digimon Frontier theme song. Everyone around me was in tears except me. It was a touching song to them, I guess. Even in elementary school, I knew that was weird. Then I woke up.
Digimon Frontier theme song: http://youtu.be/9eOJsm9ubGk
Q: What are you most proud of?
A: I’ve been told I have really good calves, which I didn’t do anything to earn. Really, it’s the one good trait my father gave me.
Q: If you could have anything for Christmas, including things that don’t exist, what would you want?
A: Probably Doc Brown’s DeLorean
Q: Do you plan to have children? If so, how long will you expect them to believe in Santa Claus?
A: Yes, and probably through elementary school. I figured it out at about 5th grade. That’s where my sisters are at right now. Huh. Weird.
Q: What is the question you always dread being asked?
A: “Why not?”
Q: What is your favorite pattern?
A: Do Hawaiian shirt patterns count? I like the classic look of a good Hawaiian shirt.
Q: Where would you live if you had to live somewhere you’ve never been before?
A: Athens, Greece
Q: What one food describes your life and why?
A: Well-seasoned and cooked shrimp – I’ve had a lot of great experiences in my life. I haven’t had a lot of troubles come my way, and life’s been good to me. So a shrimp – sometimes you have to peel them; sometimes you don’t. It’s not too hard to work with. You enjoy what you’ve tasted, and you can enjoy it again and again. Also, shrimp is my favorite food.